Does the Bible say that kissing before marriage is wrong?


The short answer is no, the Bible does not say that it is wrong to kiss before you are married. Of course, there are lots of different kinds of kisses mentioned in the Bible - mostly kisses used as greetings or signs of approval - but I suspect you are talking about romantic kisses.

In fact, the Bible doesn't tell us very much at all about what is appropriate in a "dating" or "courting" relationship. That these relationships existed seems to be evident from books like the Song of Solomon, and that kissing seems to have been an appropriate aspect of this might also be deduced from such texts (see Songs 1:2; 8:1).

Now, having said this, it is worth noting that while kissing is not forbidden, it is not always wise. Sometimes kissing can lead to sexual sin (Prov. 7:1-23). And even though kissing itself is not sinful, it may be sinful under certain circumstances. For example, if your conscience convicts you that you should not be kissing in a particular way, then it is wrong for you to do so. Also, if kissing causes you to lust inappropriately, it is also wrong (but not all sexual desire is inappropriate lust - you can rightly desire to have sex with someone you have a reasonable and godly expectation to marry, you just can't fulfill that desire until you do marry).

If you are asking this question for personal reasons, I would suggest that you try to find out what the wise thing to do is by talking to people like your pastor and your parents. Romantic relationships are very complex, as are the intimate actions people engage in when they are romantically involved. It is important for you to obtain and consider the counsel of people who have some experience in life as well as knowledge of the Scriptures, who know you personally, who are not afraid to tell you the truth about relationships you may be involved in, and who can hold you accountable in those relationships.

Answer by Ra McLaughlin

Ra McLaughlin is Vice President of Finance and Administration at Third Millennium Ministries.